I've never cared about this meaningless holiday but today I'm wishing I could give thanks to the Indians we slaughtered for the US of A with everyone else. Ah 4 weeks and counting, I know I shouldn't be because I am sitting on the roof under a cloudless sky with the sun on my shoulders, but I cant help but count.
So it seems that things aren't working out quite as I had hoped. Since last week we've been playing with the medicine, measuring doses, finding the perfect sized capsules and finally due to doc's medical perfectionism he deemed our scale unworthy. The scale we need is 2,000 quetzales around 265 dollars, which is big money here. The doc is waiting on half of Guatemala to pay him back for medical services he let slide and loans he gave out, now he's broke and we cant move forward until we have that scale. I've offered to pay just to get things moving, but he refused. I cant blame him, but its frustrating. I guess that's the thing with small businesses, if you don't have big money behind you the process is painstakingly long.
Being somewhat captive in our gated community is taking it's toll-too much time to think. I'm ready to take my chances in the big bad city, after all I know how to shoot now-kidding mom.
Tomorrow Doc is giving Jeraldo and I a First Aid and CPR lesson. We're getting the dummy and all today. I've been looking forward to it, I know its necessary regardless of what I pursue.
I have a sneaking feeling that we aren't going to do the treatments before I leave. It's got me over analyzing the point of this trip and what I've accomplished. I need to come to terms with the possibility of that and not weigh everything on it happening. I know I've gained a lot of medical knowledge and I better understand how much it takes to start up an ibo clinic, but it would be nice to taste the fruits of our labor. If I've chosen this vagabond life for myself I need to loosen my control grasp and go somewhere knowing full well that things wont be how I day dream they will, not everything will progress my ibogaine studies but it will be something new to remember. I still cant help but weigh what its worth....I better at least get a tan ; )
I'm sure these feelings will pass, maybe its just this damn holiday and the consequence of trying to change what our culture has imprinted in my brain as traditional.
Eat an extra piece of pie for me, happy bird murdering! With that;
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=sarah+palin+tirkey+pardon&hl=en&emb=0&aq=o#q=sarah%20palin%20turkey%20pardon%20uncensored&hl=en&emb=0
Oh Sarah, how I miss seeing you in the press.
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