1. The catherderal at night.
2. Shrine
3. Antigua
4. Antigua
5. Doc in Antigua
Monday morning-Connie's a no show, which means she's too drunk to get herself here. Marta and doc are pretty pissed and I cant stop thinking about Michella, what does she do all day when Connie is like this? She didn't show up today either.
We went to visit Mynor at Nueva Luz- zona 4 today to see how he's feeling and sneak him in some contraband cookies and juice, I thought it'd be necessary to break the monotony of cow spleen and lung 3x a day. Also the doc wanted to go to the house stocked with pills and creams to provide whatever medical treatment we could.
We walked in and the patients yelled "Hola doctora!" as soon as they saw us, they jumped out of their chairs to greet us with hugs, hand shakes and kisses. It was mayhem for the first 5 minutes, everyone wanted our attention-with every greeting we got a rundown on what was infected or aching that week. My very young admirer, Julio, lit up when he saw us and spoke his best English to let me know he was so happy we came. He didn't leave my side for the rest of the time, making sure everyone kept their distance. So cute.
We interrupted their dinner of sopa del dinosaurio or dinosaur soup-which I learned today is made out of the things the local butcher was going to throw away that day, mixed into a soup. Kind of like animal remains surprise. Yum. The smell was worse than the thought of it.
We finally found Mynor, who I didn't recognize at all. He was so puffy that he looked like a completely different person and seemed delirious. He's at the peak of the detox process, so I'm sure he felt 100 x worse than he looked. He started crying as he hugged us. I cant believe a little over a week ago he was our guide to these houses that we spent all day talking and laughing with.
The detox process at the Nueva Luz houses are pretty simple; Because you obviously cant quit alcohol cold turkey without the chance of death, they give the patients rubbing alcohol in decreasing quantities. So day one you get a pint glass of rubbing alcohol, which makes you vomit profusely because of the nausea inducing agent that is put in rubbing alcohol to dissuade people from drinking it, however your withdrawal symptoms are soothed since the alcohol is in your system. And so this goes until you are weaned off. Awful. So when I hugged Mynor the smell of him gave me the chills you get when you smell vodka the morning of a hang over.
We spent the rest of the time trying to diagnose ailments and handing out pills relieving pain, high blood pressure, heartburn and different creams for psoriasis, rashes and infected cuts. This time there were 4 guys crammed into the tiny jail cell (which I learned is punishment for the people in the worst of the detox process that act out).
One of the men that helps run the house asked Dr. Lopez if I would counsel him in dealing with the murder of his daughter. Dr. Lopez gave him his card and told him to make an appointment with us and Dr. Fitzsimmons would be happy to. Of course he didn't ask or let me know until we got home.
Once we got back and he informed me and I thought he was joking. I said, "Right, but really you'll do the counseling and I'll interject a few things here and there" He said casually "No, I wont be there." I stopped him "Wait wait wait, he doesn't even speak English, how am I supposed to communicate with him?" he laughed and said "Not my problem. My dear jyou need to learn to speak without de words".
Now I am aware of how lucky I am to be getting intense on the job training but my patients was wearing very thin yesterday, I'd really like to blame it on the moon. Volunteering me for grief counseling, which I don't know the first thing about, was the last straw. Maybe it's all the small things that add up when you spend an inordinate amount of time with one person, but I couldn't stop grinding my teeth out of frustration with him.
To begin with it's the arrogance of being my instructor that he harbors, blindly throwing me into situations that I don't have the knowledge or language skills to handle. It's what makes him a great teacher and a big pain in my ass. Then its the fact that we cant do the most simple things without it engulfing the rest of our day, which throws away the schedule I make for us of things we need to get done. Always on a quick errand we run into someone he knows with a sick family member, and there we sit for an hour as they tell their story-then it's "oops the post office just closed" so there goes our day. I've learned to add an hour or 3 onto every time estimate he gives. But then again I know that its another attribute that makes him a great doctor, his desire to help everyone and give everyone his full attention all the time. Then the chain smoking...ok now I'm just bitching.
I think what's getting to me the most is that I have no way to be independent here. There's no public transportation safe enough for me to take on my own, there's nowhere close enough to walk to besides the little park, and I cant shop for my own food so I eat what the fam eats, I actually cant even serve myself because Marta serves us and that's just how it is. It's all little things, I just need to adjust to doing things with the clan.
For the first time we got into somewhat of an argument. When he told me about the patient I would counsel I told him I felt like I'd be cheating the patient because he wouldn't walk away with anything useful because I'm NOT a certified counselor OR a Doctor-even though we've said it so many times that we may begin to believe it. I got worked up and told him I didn't think it was fair to introduce me as a Dr.- to me or the people that I meet, because they are looking to me for legit answers and I feel like I'll be letting their hopes down with laymen advise that they could get from anyone.
Once I was done ranting he of course responded to me with a story; When Mother Teresa first went to Haiti she met a a man that asked her to help save a woman dying of leprosy. She told him that she would do all that she had in her power. When she saw the woman, she was laying on the side of the street among litter, very close to death. Teresa sat very close to the woman. She took her hand and looked into her eyes and said "I love you." The woman responded "What?" Teresa repeated "I love you" "But How can you love me? My own family has abandoned me, how can you-a stranger, love me?" Teresa shrugged her shoulders and said "I love you, with every fiber of my soul and being." The woman smiled and died shortly after. Then the Dr. said "Did Mother Teresa have medical degree? Did she have protocol to follow in de death counseling?" ...Ok I got it.
He said "Chreestine, dthese patients see hope when dthey look at jyou. Just knowing that a Dr. from US care enough to spoke wit dthem is enough. There are 3 basic things that a good counselor can does: 1st Presence, being present when de patient is telling to you their problem. 2nd humanity, treating them wit human kindness and compassion and 3rd listening ability. Now a good counselor has at least 2 of these. jYou possess all 3 of dthese, I know just from de time I spend wit you telling to you my stories. I can now see that in our work we must next break these barriers you created, which tells jyou that jyou arent a dr. or a counselor or anything else we choose to be de next day. jYou must learn to believe dat jyou are whatever jyou decide to be."
And how do you respond to that? I didn't, just "You're right" then I went to my room.
I had 2 more movies that were "assigned" earlier in the day. La Vida Bella (Life is Beautiful) was the 1st, in Italian with subtitles. This movie was incredible and you need to rent it, that's all I can say. Some how it fit in perfectly with the theme of the earlier discussion. How does he do that?
Next was What the bleep do we know? "A mind-jarring blend of Quantum Physics, spirituality, neurology and evolutionary thought." Seriously. This documentary changed how I thought for a full day after I saw it. Watch it for free here: http://moviesfoundonline.com/what_the_bleep_do_we_know.php
This morning as Lady and I were on our way out for our walk...The ibo arrived! Doc and I celebrated. It's pretty crazy; how if one little thing works out, it has the power to wipe clear all of the problems you've staked up against yourself.
2. Shrine
3. Antigua
4. Antigua
5. Doc in Antigua
Monday morning-Connie's a no show, which means she's too drunk to get herself here. Marta and doc are pretty pissed and I cant stop thinking about Michella, what does she do all day when Connie is like this? She didn't show up today either.
We went to visit Mynor at Nueva Luz- zona 4 today to see how he's feeling and sneak him in some contraband cookies and juice, I thought it'd be necessary to break the monotony of cow spleen and lung 3x a day. Also the doc wanted to go to the house stocked with pills and creams to provide whatever medical treatment we could.
We walked in and the patients yelled "Hola doctora!" as soon as they saw us, they jumped out of their chairs to greet us with hugs, hand shakes and kisses. It was mayhem for the first 5 minutes, everyone wanted our attention-with every greeting we got a rundown on what was infected or aching that week. My very young admirer, Julio, lit up when he saw us and spoke his best English to let me know he was so happy we came. He didn't leave my side for the rest of the time, making sure everyone kept their distance. So cute.
We interrupted their dinner of sopa del dinosaurio or dinosaur soup-which I learned today is made out of the things the local butcher was going to throw away that day, mixed into a soup. Kind of like animal remains surprise. Yum. The smell was worse than the thought of it.
We finally found Mynor, who I didn't recognize at all. He was so puffy that he looked like a completely different person and seemed delirious. He's at the peak of the detox process, so I'm sure he felt 100 x worse than he looked. He started crying as he hugged us. I cant believe a little over a week ago he was our guide to these houses that we spent all day talking and laughing with.
The detox process at the Nueva Luz houses are pretty simple; Because you obviously cant quit alcohol cold turkey without the chance of death, they give the patients rubbing alcohol in decreasing quantities. So day one you get a pint glass of rubbing alcohol, which makes you vomit profusely because of the nausea inducing agent that is put in rubbing alcohol to dissuade people from drinking it, however your withdrawal symptoms are soothed since the alcohol is in your system. And so this goes until you are weaned off. Awful. So when I hugged Mynor the smell of him gave me the chills you get when you smell vodka the morning of a hang over.
We spent the rest of the time trying to diagnose ailments and handing out pills relieving pain, high blood pressure, heartburn and different creams for psoriasis, rashes and infected cuts. This time there were 4 guys crammed into the tiny jail cell (which I learned is punishment for the people in the worst of the detox process that act out).
One of the men that helps run the house asked Dr. Lopez if I would counsel him in dealing with the murder of his daughter. Dr. Lopez gave him his card and told him to make an appointment with us and Dr. Fitzsimmons would be happy to. Of course he didn't ask or let me know until we got home.
Once we got back and he informed me and I thought he was joking. I said, "Right, but really you'll do the counseling and I'll interject a few things here and there" He said casually "No, I wont be there." I stopped him "Wait wait wait, he doesn't even speak English, how am I supposed to communicate with him?" he laughed and said "Not my problem. My dear jyou need to learn to speak without de words".
Now I am aware of how lucky I am to be getting intense on the job training but my patients was wearing very thin yesterday, I'd really like to blame it on the moon. Volunteering me for grief counseling, which I don't know the first thing about, was the last straw. Maybe it's all the small things that add up when you spend an inordinate amount of time with one person, but I couldn't stop grinding my teeth out of frustration with him.
To begin with it's the arrogance of being my instructor that he harbors, blindly throwing me into situations that I don't have the knowledge or language skills to handle. It's what makes him a great teacher and a big pain in my ass. Then its the fact that we cant do the most simple things without it engulfing the rest of our day, which throws away the schedule I make for us of things we need to get done. Always on a quick errand we run into someone he knows with a sick family member, and there we sit for an hour as they tell their story-then it's "oops the post office just closed" so there goes our day. I've learned to add an hour or 3 onto every time estimate he gives. But then again I know that its another attribute that makes him a great doctor, his desire to help everyone and give everyone his full attention all the time. Then the chain smoking...ok now I'm just bitching.
I think what's getting to me the most is that I have no way to be independent here. There's no public transportation safe enough for me to take on my own, there's nowhere close enough to walk to besides the little park, and I cant shop for my own food so I eat what the fam eats, I actually cant even serve myself because Marta serves us and that's just how it is. It's all little things, I just need to adjust to doing things with the clan.
For the first time we got into somewhat of an argument. When he told me about the patient I would counsel I told him I felt like I'd be cheating the patient because he wouldn't walk away with anything useful because I'm NOT a certified counselor OR a Doctor-even though we've said it so many times that we may begin to believe it. I got worked up and told him I didn't think it was fair to introduce me as a Dr.- to me or the people that I meet, because they are looking to me for legit answers and I feel like I'll be letting their hopes down with laymen advise that they could get from anyone.
Once I was done ranting he of course responded to me with a story; When Mother Teresa first went to Haiti she met a a man that asked her to help save a woman dying of leprosy. She told him that she would do all that she had in her power. When she saw the woman, she was laying on the side of the street among litter, very close to death. Teresa sat very close to the woman. She took her hand and looked into her eyes and said "I love you." The woman responded "What?" Teresa repeated "I love you" "But How can you love me? My own family has abandoned me, how can you-a stranger, love me?" Teresa shrugged her shoulders and said "I love you, with every fiber of my soul and being." The woman smiled and died shortly after. Then the Dr. said "Did Mother Teresa have medical degree? Did she have protocol to follow in de death counseling?" ...Ok I got it.
He said "Chreestine, dthese patients see hope when dthey look at jyou. Just knowing that a Dr. from US care enough to spoke wit dthem is enough. There are 3 basic things that a good counselor can does: 1st Presence, being present when de patient is telling to you their problem. 2nd humanity, treating them wit human kindness and compassion and 3rd listening ability. Now a good counselor has at least 2 of these. jYou possess all 3 of dthese, I know just from de time I spend wit you telling to you my stories. I can now see that in our work we must next break these barriers you created, which tells jyou that jyou arent a dr. or a counselor or anything else we choose to be de next day. jYou must learn to believe dat jyou are whatever jyou decide to be."
And how do you respond to that? I didn't, just "You're right" then I went to my room.
I had 2 more movies that were "assigned" earlier in the day. La Vida Bella (Life is Beautiful) was the 1st, in Italian with subtitles. This movie was incredible and you need to rent it, that's all I can say. Some how it fit in perfectly with the theme of the earlier discussion. How does he do that?
Next was What the bleep do we know? "A mind-jarring blend of Quantum Physics, spirituality, neurology and evolutionary thought." Seriously. This documentary changed how I thought for a full day after I saw it. Watch it for free here: http://moviesfoundonline.com/what_the_bleep_do_we_know.php
This morning as Lady and I were on our way out for our walk...The ibo arrived! Doc and I celebrated. It's pretty crazy; how if one little thing works out, it has the power to wipe clear all of the problems you've staked up against yourself.
1 comment:
Hooray!!
I'm so happy the Ibo came!
And I'm so happy Doc is liberating you from the thoughts that bind you. You do have alot to offer and carry healing power from within. You also have experience with grief counseling - remember Dr. Nydegger?He was a dr you went to for grief counseling and all he ever talked to you about was going to disney world - it used to piss me off but it seemed like it made you feel better. Whatever works!!!
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