No ibo, no worries

This morning I sat across from the doc with his usual black coffee and cigarette and ate my breakfast in silence. For his mouth not to be rattling off with another zen inspired lesson at the slightest beat of silence, is a problem. I looked at him for a moment, he knew he had to speak. "Mynor, jyou remember Mynor, our guide for de Nueva Luz houses" I nodded. "He iz now there. He has a relapses." My eyes widened and I shook my head "jYes, he iz now at de first that we saw, zona 5". I didnt say anything. Mynor- who sat with us during the interview and was an example of renewed sobriety to the patients, who I lamented with about the deplorable conditions, now a patient there. Finally the doc spoke "I cants stop but tink what iz so differents between he and me? We both have sobriety for very long and both trys to help de people in dat situations, so why him and not me? Wh.-" I cut him off "Because I'm here, and that would never happen with me here." He smiled, sort of brushed it off and said "Well thank jyou doctor." as he got up to go lay down in his room.

I didn't move for a moment. Then went to my room and began to write. 10 minutes later he came in with a smile and told me that Connie needed my bedsheets to wash, but no doubt came in only to counter his earlier attitude. "Give her jyour clothes and bed sheits" Then he pulled out his 45 mm and scratched his beard with it, squinted his eyes like Deniro and said "She doez what I sayz or she gits it" I crack up and got up to do so, once I can control my laughter.

I'm beginning to think the only reason he has that gun is to assist him in his jokes. In that regard it never fails him, its always hilarious. Actually the first week I was here he took precautions to make sure I never saw it, and assured me it was never loaded unless we went out. I'm sure he thought it would scare me. It's not uncommon to carry a gun here, this city is rough and the cops are corrupt. He told me he's never used it and hopes he never has to but especially with la gringa here, he carries it for defence. But of course he explained that in a round about way with another zen story about a young monk and his master. I'm sure he would kill me if he knew I was writing this, he told me not to advertise it to my family because he is aware of the American views on gun control, however we're are much more protected than Guatemalans. After much pestering on my part, he took it out yesterday, showed me all the functions and promised we'd go shooting eventually.
We took a trip to Antigua later that day. Doc wanted to get out of the city for a while and I wanted to finally do some sight-seeing. Antigua is the biggest tourist destination in Guat, it's also got a growing community of ex-patriot gringo hippies. I completely understand why. It's breath taking.
The small town is nestled in a valley among 3 volcanoes that tower over it. What's most striking about it though is the architecture. Almost all of the buildings and cobble stone streets date back to the early 1800s. There are 4 colossal, ornate, Spanish cathedrals and monasteries, most of them have been partially destroyed by volcano eruptions along with everything else in the town, some of them were repaired and still hold mass, the others remain beautiful ruins. Stunning glass and iron lamps drape down from every adobe roof and corner. From the furthest corners of the town I could still hear the Latin band playing from the courtyard park in the heart of Antigua.
We walked around for a long while taking it in, me snapping pictures with every 5 steps we took. We toured the ruins of one of the monasteries, walked in and out of little artisan shops. We had dinner on the sidewalk from these 2 women dressed in the traditional Mayan skirts and huipils (which are these hand croucheted very detailed peasant tops that drape over your body..I want one). They were making fresh tortillas on a little gas grill. We had these amazing tortas, (wish I could remember the names of everything) and these 1 inch thick doughy tortillas with cheese in the middle and piled on top guacamole, salsa, onion and cheese crumble.....soooo good and soooo high in cholesterol mmmmm. Then to drink was this thick, soupy, warm, sweet corn elixer, it's hard to explain, its like corn ground with sugar, peppermint and some other amazing spices, whatever it was it's definitely the best thing I've tasted in Guat thus far. We sat and talked with the women for a while-well, more so the doc, I really just listened, smiled and interjected "Si" every so often. We ate about 6 tortas and had 4 of those corn drinks and it came to about 31 quetzales which equals 4 US dollars!!! Needless to say I was enamored with Antigua and definitely need to go back for more than just an afternoon trip.

Still no ibogaine delivery. Again I'm writting in the tiny garden near the front door, awaiting a knock. I seem to be the only one so concerned with this. I just want to get started or at least know how things will go this week. Very American of me-longing for a schedule and to do list. I should try to enjoy the calm I have before the storm, as Libby tells me.

Today I found out a very dear friend of a friend had died after a long cancer battle that stole the bulk of her early twenties. All day my thoughts and blessings have been with Heather Weeks, her friends and family. I never had the privilege to get to know her, but I do know she was a truly beautiful person and performer that fought like hell. As I told Libby, it can be so hard to wrap your mind around the cruelty of nature, there is no justification in any of it. How lucky we are to wake up healthy everyday with the chance to persue and accomplish what we want out of life yet how unfair that she lost that chance.
Bless you Heather.